imthe_shit | [ action ]

Hey.

[squeezes her shoulder again.]

You're not alone. I'm here, too.

_{[That gets a bigger smile, though there's a sad hint to it.]}

I-- yeah. Sorry, didn't mean to make it seem like I was wallowing. I'm glad you're still here.

_{[It was partially for the friends that she HAD here that she had stayed in the first place, after all...]}

'Least now you won't have to sneak around the hotel, right?

_{[... he'd probably do it anyway.]}

I wasn't sneaking because of them. [ kooky old man. ] At any rate...

Heather, I have something important to ask you.

_{[Snake, you so crazy.]

[Her expression sobers up a little, though.]}

Yeah?

You knew about Otacon and Liquid? That Otacon fell in love with him?

_{[... Uh oh.]}

I-- .... yeah. Yeah, I knew about it.

... Otacon thought there was something wrong with him for it. He ... asked me for advice sometimes.

...

[ Rests his elbows on his knees, and stares at the ground. He coughs a few times, looking miserable. ]

_{[Ouch. Heather remains firm in her reasons for not telling anybody about what Otacon confided in her about, but she still feels kinda bad. Lifting her hands, she spreads them slightly.]}

Look, I didn't say anything because it's not my business to gossip around about other peoples' relationships, okay?

... Besides, I was looking after him.

If Liquid had so much as hurt a hair on his head...

_{[If nothing else, Snake would perhaps be pleased to hear about the very real threat Heather had given to Liquid upon finding out about the budding relationship...]}

... Thanks. I guess I can understand your reasons. But for me, I was the last one to know. Again.

[Shakes his head.] How long has this been going on?

_{[Heather sighs. She knows why he feels bad, at least on that note...]}

I know... I'm sorry. I wish I could've said something, but... Otacon was really worried that you'd be angry. He didn't wanna lose you.

_{[How many times had he moaned "SNAKE IS GONNA HATE ME" during his various crybaby sessions? A LOT.]}

And-- ... I dunno, I found out about it back when we were in Azalea, not too long before we left. I kinda walked in on them. ... Otacon was drunk and it was all we could do to get him to sit in one place while I had a talk with Liquid about it.

_{[Do you have any idea how hard it is to give someone the "Wanna see my rifle collection?" lecture when the subject of affection in question keeps on wandering back over and trying to hug everybody?]}

... [ He tightens his fists, pursing his lips a moment before relaxing. Back in Azalea? Was Otacon really that afraid of him, that he wouldn't tell him?

Snake hated Liquid, true. But he couldn't hate Otacon. That wasn't something he was capable of... It sickened him at any rate, though... Liquid Snake of all people.

He felt the man was taunting him again. ] In Azalea, huh.

_{[Heather shrugs, a little awkwardly.]}

Well-- I mean, that was just when-- you know, when I found out Otacon liked him. I don't think Liquid even wanted a relationship back then. _{[He kept on telling Heather that nothing had happened and that nothing WOULD happen-- 'course that kinda CHANGED once they got to Goldenrod and had to share a room.]}

I don't know when they officially became a 'thing'.

[ Snake stands up, arms folded. The fact that Otacon and Liquid had so conveniently snuck off made this all the more frustrating to him. No, it wasn't right to yell at his friend for who he falls in love with, but at the same time... It was obvious the kind of person Liquid would turn out to be. And Snake knew that when the time came for that change, Otacon would be left broken again.

Though, in reality, Otacon was going to wind up broken anyway, wasn't he? Snake was old, meant to die sooner or later. This Liquid was young, healthy, relatively sane, and had earned enough of Otacon's trust to always be by his side.

Snake, however, was close enough that he could be in contact with Otacon via Gear, but lately, not much more than that. Maybe it was fine if he let Otacon do what he wanted. He didn't have to tell Snake who he was dating, what he was doing... It wasn't Snake's business.

The old soldier walked a few steps, digging into his pockets for a cigarette.. once again unable to find one.

Hal and Dave? That's a good one! Maybe we should take a trip to Jupiter.

Snake squinted his eyes somewhat, before pulling up a chair and sitting down, heavyhearted. He looked at Heather. ]

So, why did you stay behind? You could be with them right now. I could let you borrow Solid if you wanted to catch up.

_{[Heather remained sitting, her hands clasped in her lap, looking oddly guilty. Like she'd been caught stealing or something-- not just, you know, keeping Otacon's little secret.]

[At the next question, she looks up and shakes her head vigorously.]}

No. I-- ... I didn't want to go. ... I just-- ... I dunno. I'm needed here.

_{[... For some pretty feeble reasons-- feebleness that would be tearing at her like meathooks when the time did come that Liquid fought with his father.]}

I just... I dunno.

... That bitch who tried to kill Phoenix might show up here, and now that HE'S here, I don't even know if she'll try and hurt him again, and-- and Sora's here, and Edgeworth, and I feel like I should be lookin' out for both of them-- _{[Both had been so scared and confused when they had arrived there on that weirdass night.]} and-- ...

_{[Deep sigh. She looked away, running her hands through her hair. They were all excuses and she knew it.]}

... And it's almost Christmas.

... I didn't-- ... don't wanna be going on some quest for revenge on Christmas.

_{[It sounded stupid coming out of her mouth, even to her. It wasn't like the holiday meant much of anything to her anymore-- not after losing her only family back home. ... But...]}

... [Listens to her talk about the people she'd be leaving behind. At least she thought about it, he's not sure if Otacon had. For Snake, he wasn't sure if he had anyone to leave behind, but he wasn't about to go for some vengeful quest either. He didn't want to see Big Boss.

Snake wasn't big on Christmas either, though Sunny enjoyed it, only because she, Otacon and Snake had to spend time together no matter what. He was never much of a holiday spirit kind of guy either, even less one of lately. But he still understood what Heather meant.

This was not the time to be leaving one's family.]

Hnn.

I get you. [ Rubs his chin a bit. ] I think that quest is a load of crap, personally. Otacon seemed adamant about leaving, even though it made no goddamn sense to leave. Still... If they're going to leave and miss Christmas, that's their prerogative. [ Shrugs. ] Doesn't mean we have to have a crappy holiday.

_{[This was the first time Heather'd had a family apart from Harry. Christmas had always been special to them, of course, but it had still only been them.]

[That first Christmas without her father had been a dismal affair. She and Douglas had gotten together and spent the night mostly in silence, watching the snow come down and lights come on in windows across the street. They had drank to Harry's memory and watched It's a Wonderful Life. Douglas had fallen asleep in his chair about halfway through, but Heather had watched until the end. She didn't sleep much that night.]

[This would be the second Christmas without Harry and here she was, blessed with a chance to celebrate it with her new family-- Otacon, Liquid, Snake, and the motley crew of other misfits she'd somehow picked up as pals along the way.]

[So why did she feel so torn-up over them leaving? Over not going with them? When the hell did this all get so damn complicated?]}

... I just want them to be safe. ... I know it's a load of crap, but...

_{[She trailed off there and made a vague, unsure hand gesture, the words not quite flowing together well enough to express just how she felt about Liquid's stupid life's mission.]

[So she offered Snake a bit of a watery smile.]}

Yeah.

We can party without 'em.

... [ Snake stood up again, silently walking over to Heather before sitting down next to her. He was silent a few moments, before he placed a hand to the back of her head and leaned her against him, sort of a half-hug. As stated before, he wasn't any good at comforting, but he was damn well going to try. These were two souls, separated from their families, both taken their fair share of shit and survived. If there was a person that Snake saw more of himself in than anyone else, that person was Heather. ]

_{[If Heather was surprised at the hug, she didn't show it, or draw away. She just went right ahead and leaned on him, resting her scruffy head on his shoulder silently. She probably wouldn't ever know just how much like Snake she actually WAS, but kindred spirits recognized other survivors when they saw them.]

[And sure, he might not have been that good at comforting, but... hey, neither was Douglas. She still appreciated it.]}

[ His throat rumbles a bit as he exhales, keeping the half-hug going for as long as it wanted, not making any moves to end it. He thinks about what to do to keep both their spirits up; he told Otacon he'd look after Heather, though thinking about how to do that was another obstacle. He decides to try and reassure Heather of some things instead. ]

I'm not mad at you. You're a good kid, Heather. You're loyal, strong, and you don't give up. I'm not brave enough to make promises like you do. It's complicated, that's all... I didn't mean to make you feel responsible.

_{[She looked up at that-- first surprised. Then sort of happy. ... Then it faded and she looked away again.]}

Heh... I don't think it's that brave to make promises that you don't keep.

_{[He was right about one thing: Heather was a good kid at heart. ... The problem was that she didn't always act like one. Oh lordy did she EVER not always act like one.]

[Maybe if she HAD tried a little harder to act like one, things would have turned out differently a few years ago. Faultless though she knew she was, certain occurrences might have been avoided. Not all of them, no-- but some.]

[She might have gotten home in time.]}

I know I'm not responsible, and I know it's complicated.

_{[She sat up a little, offering Snake a small but genuine (even if it didn't have much mirth to it) smile.]}

... But I did tell Otacon I wouldn't leave him alone, and... well.

_{[HERE SHE WAS IN GOLDENROD, while he rode out to face certain danger. ... Or at least watch someone he cared about face certain danger.]}

... And I told you I'd look out for him.

Not doin' such a great job at that right this second, either.

_{[She paused for a moment, thoughtfully looking out the window at the powdery snow drifting down past the shiny buildings outside.]}

... I was, though. While they were still around, I was.

[ Nods slowly. ] It's out of our hands now...

I told you to look after Otacon, I'm sure you tried your best. I didn't expect him to fall in love with Liquid of all people... I guess I was just assuming that he wouldn't because I wouldn't.

_{[Heather nodded-- ... and then made a sort of funny face, wrinkling her nose.]}

Well, he is technically your brother. That'd be kinda weird.

_{[MORE THAN KINDA.]}

Anyway...

_{[She pauses for a second, looking thoughtful again. When she speaks again, her voice is... flat. And surprisingly dark.]}

... Before I ever told Hal that it was okay to be in love with whoever he wanted to be in love with, I told Liquid to watch his step.

Way back in Azalea, I told him I'd kill him if he ever hurt him.

[ Tilts his head, a little surprised. He's briefly heard how angry and serious Heather can get, but it's always a surprise to hear it again... especially with how much she liked Liquid. ]

You told him that? How'd he take it?

_{[She shrugged.]}

Pretty well, all things considered.

I think he understood why I was saying it.

_{[She frowned, brows furrowing.]}

I was serious, too.

I like him, and I care about him, but... I was serious.

I believe you.

[ Nudges her with his shoulder. ]

You look like the kind that could kick someone's ass ten fold if you set your mind to it.

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