imthe_shit | [ action ]

... [Listens to her talk about the people she'd be leaving behind. At least she thought about it, he's not sure if Otacon had. For Snake, he wasn't sure if he had anyone to leave behind, but he wasn't about to go for some vengeful quest either. He didn't want to see Big Boss.

Snake wasn't big on Christmas either, though Sunny enjoyed it, only because she, Otacon and Snake had to spend time together no matter what. He was never much of a holiday spirit kind of guy either, even less one of lately. But he still understood what Heather meant.

This was not the time to be leaving one's family.]

Hnn.

I get you. [ Rubs his chin a bit. ] I think that quest is a load of crap, personally. Otacon seemed adamant about leaving, even though it made no goddamn sense to leave. Still... If they're going to leave and miss Christmas, that's their prerogative. [ Shrugs. ] Doesn't mean we have to have a crappy holiday.

_{[This was the first time Heather'd had a family apart from Harry. Christmas had always been special to them, of course, but it had still only been them.]

[That first Christmas without her father had been a dismal affair. She and Douglas had gotten together and spent the night mostly in silence, watching the snow come down and lights come on in windows across the street. They had drank to Harry's memory and watched It's a Wonderful Life. Douglas had fallen asleep in his chair about halfway through, but Heather had watched until the end. She didn't sleep much that night.]

[This would be the second Christmas without Harry and here she was, blessed with a chance to celebrate it with her new family-- Otacon, Liquid, Snake, and the motley crew of other misfits she'd somehow picked up as pals along the way.]

[So why did she feel so torn-up over them leaving? Over not going with them? When the hell did this all get so damn complicated?]}

... I just want them to be safe. ... I know it's a load of crap, but...

_{[She trailed off there and made a vague, unsure hand gesture, the words not quite flowing together well enough to express just how she felt about Liquid's stupid life's mission.]

[So she offered Snake a bit of a watery smile.]}

Yeah.

We can party without 'em.

... [ Snake stood up again, silently walking over to Heather before sitting down next to her. He was silent a few moments, before he placed a hand to the back of her head and leaned her against him, sort of a half-hug. As stated before, he wasn't any good at comforting, but he was damn well going to try. These were two souls, separated from their families, both taken their fair share of shit and survived. If there was a person that Snake saw more of himself in than anyone else, that person was Heather. ]

_{[If Heather was surprised at the hug, she didn't show it, or draw away. She just went right ahead and leaned on him, resting her scruffy head on his shoulder silently. She probably wouldn't ever know just how much like Snake she actually WAS, but kindred spirits recognized other survivors when they saw them.]

[And sure, he might not have been that good at comforting, but... hey, neither was Douglas. She still appreciated it.]}

[ His throat rumbles a bit as he exhales, keeping the half-hug going for as long as it wanted, not making any moves to end it. He thinks about what to do to keep both their spirits up; he told Otacon he'd look after Heather, though thinking about how to do that was another obstacle. He decides to try and reassure Heather of some things instead. ]

I'm not mad at you. You're a good kid, Heather. You're loyal, strong, and you don't give up. I'm not brave enough to make promises like you do. It's complicated, that's all... I didn't mean to make you feel responsible.

_{[She looked up at that-- first surprised. Then sort of happy. ... Then it faded and she looked away again.]}

Heh... I don't think it's that brave to make promises that you don't keep.

_{[He was right about one thing: Heather was a good kid at heart. ... The problem was that she didn't always act like one. Oh lordy did she EVER not always act like one.]

[Maybe if she HAD tried a little harder to act like one, things would have turned out differently a few years ago. Faultless though she knew she was, certain occurrences might have been avoided. Not all of them, no-- but some.]

[She might have gotten home in time.]}

I know I'm not responsible, and I know it's complicated.

_{[She sat up a little, offering Snake a small but genuine (even if it didn't have much mirth to it) smile.]}

... But I did tell Otacon I wouldn't leave him alone, and... well.

_{[HERE SHE WAS IN GOLDENROD, while he rode out to face certain danger. ... Or at least watch someone he cared about face certain danger.]}

... And I told you I'd look out for him.

Not doin' such a great job at that right this second, either.

_{[She paused for a moment, thoughtfully looking out the window at the powdery snow drifting down past the shiny buildings outside.]}

... I was, though. While they were still around, I was.

[ Nods slowly. ] It's out of our hands now...

I told you to look after Otacon, I'm sure you tried your best. I didn't expect him to fall in love with Liquid of all people... I guess I was just assuming that he wouldn't because I wouldn't.

_{[Heather nodded-- ... and then made a sort of funny face, wrinkling her nose.]}

Well, he is technically your brother. That'd be kinda weird.

_{[MORE THAN KINDA.]}

Anyway...

_{[She pauses for a second, looking thoughtful again. When she speaks again, her voice is... flat. And surprisingly dark.]}

... Before I ever told Hal that it was okay to be in love with whoever he wanted to be in love with, I told Liquid to watch his step.

Way back in Azalea, I told him I'd kill him if he ever hurt him.

[ Tilts his head, a little surprised. He's briefly heard how angry and serious Heather can get, but it's always a surprise to hear it again... especially with how much she liked Liquid. ]

You told him that? How'd he take it?

_{[She shrugged.]}

Pretty well, all things considered.

I think he understood why I was saying it.

_{[She frowned, brows furrowing.]}

I was serious, too.

I like him, and I care about him, but... I was serious.

I believe you.

[ Nudges her with his shoulder. ]

You look like the kind that could kick someone's ass ten fold if you set your mind to it.

_{[She manages a grin.]}

That's been said about me, yeah.

Not sure Liquid believes it, but... _{[She lifts a scrawny arm and flexes it, as if there's... significant muscle (there really isn't).]} I've taken on worse than him and won.

_{[... She's only half joking, even if her tone is relatively lighthearted.]}

[ Snake smirks, rubbing his mustache a bit and smirking. He can't help it, she's really something. ]

Well, if you and I teamed up, Liquid wouldn't stand a chance.

_{[She grinned back.]}

Well, if he ever DOES step outta line, we'll be able to handle it.

I don't think he will, though. Not with Otacon.

_{[... She knew a little about what he was going to do in the future, back where he came from, but... that was there. This was here.]}

[Rubs the back of his head.]

Otacon's the last person I can imagine Liquid being able to deal with.

I sort've thought that, too. For awhile, mean.

But... I dunno. I watched him.

He's a bag of dicks sometimes, sure, but... he does care. He looked out for both of us. _{... Got kind of annoying sometimes, actually.}

... Hnn... I guess I wish I was naive like that, too. [ Rubs his face. ] The Liquid I know would have shot Otacon if he so much as tried to talk about Japanese animation.

Hey.

_{[She doesn't sound upset, but she DOES sound serious.]}

I know he's different in your time, but I've dealt with people who have no problem with killing innocents, too. I'm not as naiive as you think. He's not like that right now.

He could've snapped Hal's neck a long time ago. He's had plenty of chances.

_{[After all, they had been traveling together long before Heather came into the picture.]}

[Shakes his head.] Didn't mean it against you. I meant it more for me. If I could just pretend I knew nothing about him, that he was just another guy who hadn't tried to kill me, it'd make things easier.

Hn... yeah, I do kinda know how that feels.

_{[Although she would never, EVER admit it, she sometimes did wish that she could think of Claudia like she had when they were both children. Innocents. But the little girl who had drawn pictures of happy families and struggled not to cry when she lost at Go Fish was not the same as the monster who had ordered Harry's death.]}

I've never known Liquid being anything other than the vengeful man he is... From the first moment I met him, he wanted to kill me. Hn... He piloted a Hind D and tried to take me down with it.

Seeing him here... He's practically a tiger in a cage and I'm not looking forward to him breaking loose.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there's a chance Otacon has changed him for the better. But hell... That's not going to change what I've had to go through because of him... Because of who he becomes.

That goes for Big Boss, too.

_{[Heather sighed after a pause.]}

I... I know what you mean, but...

Where you are and who you're with can make all the difference. I don't know much about where you guys come from, or how different the company he kept might've been from the people he hangs with HERE...

But I know that I'dve turned out hella different if I hadn't been taken to a new place, with new people who actually cared about me-- a long time ago.

Maybe it'll all turn out pointless if we all wind up going home, but-- ... we're HERE right now, and he's got a chance to turn out different. Better, maybe.

Hell, maybe I wind up going psycho in the future of my world and killing everybody-- but here that hasn't happened yet and maybe something that happens here could prevent it from happening. I dunno. I can't know. Nobody can.

_{[... The ironic thing was that there had been times Heather had already teetered on the brink of staying herself or sliding down a slippery slope until she really would kill everyone. She had an inkling but you never really did know how close those things were unless they actually happened.]}

... Besides, we were able to convince him to leave you alone.

Would somebody have been able to do that in your world?

[Shakes his head, sighing.]

I know...

I know all that. It's just... really hard to forget. To put behind 10 years of this crap. I'm trying... Hell, I haven't fought with Liquid since Azalea. I didn't even chase after him when I found out about him and Otacon. ...But it's still hard.

... Yeah. I know.

I'm sorry... I didn't mean to make it sound like it should be easy.

_{[Heather rubs her eyes for a moment, scrubbing her hair out of her face. Something hard to do since it's more or less ALWAYS in her face.]}

I guess it's pretty dumb of me to just wish everyone could get along, huh?

... [Have another half-hug, Heather.]

Nno. Just an old guy like me being stubborn.

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